The Quirks Of A Man
by Nat1
Summary: She's not worried.' A Sam & Jess story, pre series.


It was one of those moments, one of those small moments in time when she could literally see Sam change. Those split seconds where he went into a world of his own and wouldn't emerge for hours, sometimes days. Sometimes she worried he wouldn't come back, come back to her. But mostly she really didn't mind. His quirks were a small price to pay for having such a caring boyfriend. By the time they moved in together, the quirks were no longer quirks and more just part of Sam.

On the first day she met him, she had run right into him, spilling her hot coffee all down the leg of his pants. Her dorm was right across the green, he lived off campus. She took him home and helped him clean up, bringing him a pair of jeans from one of the guys next door. They fit his waist, but were inches too short. She cooed over the burn that was red and blistered in places but he shrugged it off with a 'had worse' and from the dark purple scar on his knee she knew it was true.

They'd known each other for at least 3 months before he actually asked her out. He'd stood next to her while she changed the tire on her car, cursing and sweating in the hot sun. He'd offered to help, but she just shook her head with a simple 'no thank you' and so he'd stood next to her with a sweet smile and asked her out to dinner. She said no. By the time she was tightening the lug nuts on the new tire he'd been bargaining for 10 straight minutes and she finally said yes to a movie.

Their first date was pretty standard for college; they saw '_The Birds_' down in the college screening room, and then went to the campus bar. She'd been terrified by the movie and had held onto his hand the whole time. He'd just grinned down at her. When they walked out and she flinched at the sound of wings overhead, he'd laughed and pulled her under his arm. She thought then that he was the kind of guy that liked a girl who needed a man to look after them. She learned that she was wrong, but she liked that he supported her and laughed at her when she was being overly needy. He thought it was cute that she was such a walking contradiction.

The first time he zoned out on her they were at an off campus party on the other side of town from his house. The music was loud and he'd had a few beers, nothing drastically different to any other party they'd been to together. She wasn't sure what set if off, but she realised as he withdrew more and more that the longer and louder the Metallica album was played in the stereo, the further he went. Five minutes later she'd pulled him out of the house into a waiting taxi. He dropped her off at her dorm room before walking the rest of the way home by himself.

They had been together for over a year before they decided to move in together off campus. It was his final year of college, her second to last. They had a few good friends whom they'd considered sharing an apartment with, but in the end Sam had just said that they should make a go of it alone and if need be, they could get a room mate later. They celebrated signing the lease by going and buying a couch. Nothing special really, but it was something neither of them had ever done before.

The rock salt he scattered around their small building was a funny little thing; it was his 'environmentally friendly' way of keeping out ants and other insects. It never worked, but he didn't need to know that. While he was in class she used to sweep most of it up and use the store brought stuff.

He never talked about his family but she had learnt over time he had an older brother, Dean and his father's name was John. His mother had died with he was still a baby and he didn't remember her. She used to think that was sad until she realised he didn't have a single photo of the family he did have left. And that was even sadder.

He vagued-out on her again when they were at her parents and her Dad and brothers were talking about a camping trip they were planning on taking up in the Rockies when the weather warmed up a bit more. It was his first time eating with the whole family, so no one was surprised when he was quiet during the meal. Her Dad had been trying to engage him in conversation the whole night, asking if he'd been camping before, Sam had answered with a wry grin and a nod of his head before volunteering that his dad used to take his brother and him all the time when they were kids. Jess didn't raise her eyebrows, just kept listening. She learned more about his past in that one-hour meal than all the time she'd been with him.

He used to snap at her around exam times, then immediately apologise. It was a fairly normal sort of response around campus at that time of year, so she didn't take it to heart. He was generally a stress free sort of guy so she used to let it slide. But after exams it would take him a while to get back into the rhythm of things. After their mid terms during their first year living together, they'd had a huge fight about something dumb, she couldn't remember what it was anymore, but she stormed out, and slammed the door behind her. When she got back they yelled for a little while longer, him about her doing something so dumb as leaving in the middle of the night when there were so many dangerous things out there. Then they both apologised and had the best make up sex ever.

He'd never explained in detail how he'd gotten all his scars. The scar on his knee, 'hunting accident', the lines on his back, 'I fell', the three weird puncture holes on the back of his thigh, 'Dean's fault'. The scar on her knee she'd told him happened when she was about seven or so, she'd been riding a bike with a friend when they both went a little too fast down a hill. She'd hit a pothole and came off, breaking her arm and needing 32 stitches in her leg. Her scar was a fine white line, faded with age. He never explained his in detail, but she had kissed every single one.

She used to laugh at the way he used to sharpen the kitchen knives almost religiously, a product of 'being brought up by a hunter', and besides, there was nothing worse than trying to cut up food with a blunt knife, or so he'd told her. The great-tomato-slice-up-fest of '03 with her parents just proved that he was right, and anyway, he used them more than she did.

They had been in a convenience store one night, around 3am picking up some stuff after a dinner party turned into an extended movie night. She'd been tired and cranky and not in the mood to screw around with the cashier who was too busy reading the paper and not taking her money. She was busy arguing with him and wasn't paying attention as Sam stiffened beside her as a guy came in through the door with a shotgun. It was still a blur, but she knew as the guy came to the cash register, Sam grabbed the gun and hit the guy with it, she's just not sure she saw him do it. They spent forever with the police and didn't get home until 11am.

She thinks sometimes he's slipping away from her. They seem to be coming apart at the seams and they have to work at spending time together. She thinks he could easily break up with her and go on as is and wouldn't miss her. She's girl, she explains to him when he looks at her blankly like he just doesn't get it. She's a girl and she gets emotional at times. The next day he'd brought her flowers and told her he wasn't going anywhere, and neither was she. And she knew that he would never leave her.

The worst she'd ever seen him was when their friend Mike brought them all tickets to an AC/DC concert. 'Thanks but no thanks' were the last words Sam spoke for 4 days. She knew it was about his family. His brother. She had watched as he sharpened and polished his silver knife collection. A 21st birthday present from a 'clueless brother'. They are however, his most treasured possession. She'd once joked about him saving them from a fire before her. He apparently didn't find that amusing. When he finally started talking to her again, he told her a story about Dean taking him to an AC/DC concert when he was 15. She'd asked if it was a bad experience, was that why he reacted so badly to the tickets. He'd said, 'No, it was best fun I ever remember having.'

This was one of those moments, she could see him slip into himself even as he rolled up clothes and shoved them into a bag while his brother waited downstairs. He was slipping away, and while she was concerned, she knew he'd come back. He was promising her. So she'd have a quiet weekend and then bake him some cookies on Sunday, and be waiting in the shower when he got home from his trip to find his Dad with his brother. His family was one of the quirks that she'd learned to live with, she smiled at him. She wasn't worried.


End file.
